Many of us are surrounded by toxic people in our lives! Some we notice, some we don’t. It can be a co-worker, friend, neighbor, relative or even a parent! Since I myself have had my share of such people, I totally understand how tiresome and exhausting it can get. So, I really wanted to share my thoughts on this topic with you guys. Well, without further ado, let’s get started!
Who Exactly Is A Toxic Person?
A toxic person is basically someone who has a negative attitude towards life and loves pointing at flaws. Someone who is always focusing on what is lacking rather than what is abundant. Whether it is one or more, the following are the common traits that can be associated with a toxic person.
- Always Ready To Complain: This is one of the most common attributes that I have noticed in toxic people. They are always ever ready to complain and criticize! No matter how beautiful the portrait is, they will always pin point the flaws.
- Manipulative: For a toxic person, it’s always about I, Me and Myself! The other person does not matter to them. They always know how to get their way and might even make you feel guilty about talking about your side of the story.
- Full Of Drama: Toxic people just love drama! They enjoy exaggerating every little thing and making a mountain out of a molehill. According to them, they are always on the receiving end of all the bad things happening in the world.
- Attention Seekers: We all love attention, sure! But there are some who like to be ‘the star of the show’ 24X7. Such people always try to seek attention in one way or the other and would always bring back the conversation to themselves. They love to talk and talk and do not bother to listen to the other person.
- Sorry! What’s That: This is again one very common attribute that I have myself witnessed in toxic people. They do not take responsibility of their actions and always blame others. For them, they can never be wrong and it is always someone else’s fault! Trust me when I say this, I have actually seen some people who have never-ever used the word ‘Sorry’ in their entire lives! As crazy it might sound, this is indeed true!
- Judging Is Their Job: Such people love to judge others! They actually derive pleasure by trashing others and often engage in idle gossip.
- Self-Victimizing: For them, they are always the victim! Even if everything is going on perfectly well in their lives, they like to portray themselves as the only one who is ‘suffering’.
- Ego With A Capital ‘E’: I really cannot stress this point enough! I have dealt with people who have had impossibly high levels of ego, even to the point where nobody and nothing matters. They are always right and the other person is always wrong! Whether it is their own peace of mind, health or even precious relationships, nothing matters except satisfying their ego!
- Abusive Behavior: Toxic people tend to resort to abusing too! It can be verbal, physical or emotional. They intentionally want to make the other person suffer and cause them distress. This makes them feel powerful and triumphant over others.
Why Does A Toxic Person Behave This Way?
There are various reasons for a person to become toxic. For some, it is a kind of coping mechanism, while for others, it can be due to lack of self-awareness. Other possible reasons include growing up with a toxic parent/sibling, never being reprimanded for such behavior or the need to impose power on others.
How To Deal With A Toxic Person?
Dealing with a toxic person can be extremely challenging and sometimes, it does take a toll on you! You can actually feel tired and exhausted both physically and mentally. But still there a few ways to deal with such people without sacrificing your own peace and calm.
- Resist Sharing Too Much: Once you are aware that someone is portraying toxic behavior, do not trust them. Avoid sharing your deepest feelings, emotions and secrets with them.
- Focus On The Task At Hand: Keep an objective frame of mind and focus on accomplishing the job at hand. Once you focus on working towards a goal, toxic people will automatically take a back seat.
- Confide In Your Loved Ones: No matter what the circumstances are, there are always some people in your life who love you unconditionally. Turn to them and share how you are feeling. Sometimes just talking to a loved one can make a tremendous difference! Focus on the good people in your life and spend more time with them.
- Create Boundaries: If you cannot completely ignore a toxic person, then keep a safe distance! Do not over indulge with them and just keep it amicable.
- Take Charge Of Your Reaction: Toxic people try to provoke and instigate in order to obtain a reaction from you. Do not let them take control of your emotions and get carried away. Keep your reactions under check and avoid reacting as much as possible. Remember, your own peace is more important here so choose your battles wisely!
- Do Not Let Them Prey On Your Emotions: Toxic people will often play the victim and try to take advantage of your emotions. They will try to obtain a soft spot in your heart and then walk all over it. Do not let them take a ride of your emotions and play with your feelings.
- Stress Release: Rather than letting it all build up in your head, go and let off some steam! Do whatever relaxes you! Whether it is going for a swim, taking a Yoga class, going for a walk, taking a relaxing bubble bath or listening to music, do whatever you love to do in order to keep yourself calm and relaxed.
- Take The High Road: Keep your head high and rise above toxic people. Since such people crave attention, do not pay any heed to them. Never give them the joy and satisfaction of watching you suffer.
- Do Not Condone Such Behavior: Many-a-times, I have seen people taking on so much unnecessary drama and nonsense from toxic people. Stand up to them and confront them! Try to communicate with them on a rational basis and in an assertive manner. Let them know about the problem at hand and that they need to make a change.
- Know When To Let Go: The choice between trying harder or letting go is always a difficult one! Take a deep breath, assess the overall situation, and then decide. Holding on to someone who is making you miserable will lead you nowhere. If you have tried everything you could and still the other person is not willing to change, then take a step back! Sometimes you have to let go for your own good! You can never win with a person who does not see any issue with her own actions.
So my dear friends, if you or someone you know is dealing with such a situation, I sincerely hope that this would be of some help. Stay strong and keep moving forward. You deserve all the happiness in the World. Beautiful things will surely come your way… 🙂
If you would like to share something, feel free to write in the comments section below! I would love to hear your thoughts.
Till next time,